A Left-Leaning Quandary

When we come into this world, we are an enigma, unaccompanied by an external users manual but driven primarily by need and instinct. But if we imagine that a users’ manual  is embedded within us as a script which guides us through the roles we play in each phase of our lives, we soon learn its limitations. It may open our awareness of the world relative to our physical and emotional development but if we are to surmount the obstructions that occasionally beset us in our relationships, careers and our own physical/psychological health then we must work to interpret the nuances between its lines.

This week, following the surgical repair of my right rotator cuff, I sit here, with said arm in a sling, thinking about how, when we are in good health, we easily assume that our bodies exist to serve the requests and desires of our minds; quietly and without complaint.

Yet when we encounter illness or injury to our bodies, the inverse dominates our days and nights. Like a willful child, my mind desperately wants to leave the confines of this injured body, inhabit another one like a change of clothing, thus enabled to resume the life it has long known.

In my current state, the mix of patience and impatience of my spouse as he tends to my needs in addition to his own has only emphasized these ideas. Though many crises, large and small have punctuated the course of our long marriage, these have only served to focus my awareness and gratitude for his love and dedication.

Though I write and draw with my left hand, I am right-hand dominant for most other actions, particularly the digital aspect of my illustration. Consequently, my work will be fairly difficult over the next few months but physical therapy should eventually make a difference. Until then, an illustration from my recent book, Notes From London: Above & Below (Imaginarius Editions, 2015)*, shown above, and a detail from ‘Worlds Within‘(Codex Gastropoda series, 2012) shown below,  seem apropos at the moment..

So, even as my left hand and arm are doing double duty with no little complaint, I am imagining the new drawings and essays to come upon full recovery. I’ve posted these observations as encouragement to any of you who might be experiencing a similar situation and simply because I am unaccustomed to being completely idle. The latter is probably a directive from my own internal users’ manual which may look like this:

Further interpreting its nuances also reveals a new perspective on the trajectory of my own life. Though each incident that occurs seems discrete, it is not. Rather, it is only one of the links forming a sort of tight rope that resonates with the music of uncertainty, fear, challenge, sorrow, love and joy.  Accordingly, I must continually balance my roles as daughter, wife, mother, artist, illustrator, writer, teacher and designer in order to create and maintain the lyrical narrative that keeps my eyes open to the myriad possibilities ahead…

*Notes From London: Above & Below (Imaginarius Editions, 2015) may be ordered at: http://magiceyegallery.com/BookPage.aspx?id=3

The Art Of Juggling Dangerously

nly in the face of certain death or its aftermath, do most of us grasp the precariousness of our own limited lifespans. From personal experience, I’ve learned that with such time-based events, each ensuing moment, each decision that I make and each external event (whether caused by or imposed on us) becomes especially profound, altering my overview of the reality that I understand.

Socio-political changes in the larger world along with those in our microcosmic communities sometimes make me wonder about those universal binaries, chaos and order. Is there a sort of balance, or a script if you will, by which they act on those changes?

To be sure, mathematicians, physicists, theologians and practitioners of the more esoteric arts have invented their own systems to answer this question, yet another one arises: do these dualities factor in our drive to create religious constructs and clever technological inventions, teasing our vanity by provoking us to assert control over elements and events that are currently far beyond our purview? Or are we attempting to offset our terror of the familiar suddenly turning chaotic? Maybe we just need to convince ourselves that our existence truly matters– to each other, to the amorphous fate of the world or perhaps to our favorite anthropomorphic deity.

hether or not these thoughts and questions make any sense to you, they influenced this new drawing, The Art of Juggling Dangerously. Here is my jester, balancing upon an ephemeral tightrope. Seated astride his wheeled steed, he is juggling the fiery mace balls of our dark history, a history written by the servants of kings and conquerors. By doing so, is he metaphorically attempting to allay the fears and doubts that periodically assail us all? What about the social, political or supernatural forces that may have placed him there? Are these forces the agents of chaos, order or an amalgam of both? When you find yourself confronting a difficult decision or poised in a precarious situation, how do you respond? Finally, in our quest for adventure, for knowledge, if not understanding, we may often risk our own lives in defiance of death while ignoring the effect of our risks on others. Is this foolishness or a certain innocence that characterizes our fragile human bravado?

Since I can’t pretend to any special wisdom here let alone sound logic, I leave these questions for your speculative pleasure and comments. I would only venture to say that this jester may be an aspect of me or anyone dabbling in creative endeavors as we play with ideas that are both philosophical and provocative while suspended over an ocean of uncertainty…